Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
