My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
