Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
