Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
