I'm jealous of your bromance
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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