We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
