I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
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