the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
he was CRYING into my vagina
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize