even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
