Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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