Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
