I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm both gender and math confused
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
