i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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