Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
you mean i was at the winter classic?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
