Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
