We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
