absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
