it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
