Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
