My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
