There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
