i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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