I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize