As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
