The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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