Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
