I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
