You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
