I hate all girls vehemently.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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