Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
