I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
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