The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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