I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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