She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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