you guys were way drunker than both of me
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
