i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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