just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
