I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
