Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
