Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
