I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I need a burrito and a hug.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
