I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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