remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize