I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
