Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Randomize
