Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
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Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
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He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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