It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
