oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
