My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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