Hey man sorry I got all grabby
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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