It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
