It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
