Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
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