so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize