discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
