I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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