Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
