Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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