So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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