i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
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He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
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Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
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