Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
