I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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