If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
