Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
