She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
