okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I need a beard to bite.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
